Passover Yizkor 2021

Several Friday nights ago, following shabbat dinner, Jared and Zack started having a conversation which they quickly included us in-if you could have 5 people living or dead at your dining room table, for a meal together, who would it be. Of course, they knew that immediately I started thinking about this as a sermon, especially in anticipation of Passover, the holiday that truly takes place around a table, and this year, at a time, where the tables were still not filled as we want them to be.

They came up with various and expected names, given their interest in sports, their listening to the news, the topics they are studying in school, and more. Between the four of us we mentioned people like

Lebron James
King David
Golda Meir
Sheryl Sandberg
Hillary Clinton
MLK
George Washington
Heschel
Herzl
Lincoln
And more

As we expanded this conversation with our family at our zoom seder, we added more names. My 7 year old niece, Zoey, was interested in women who had an impact on history, making sure to include two of her great grandmas, Gigi, who she knew, and pearl, who she has heard about.

We began to wonder, what would their conversations be like-would they have things to talk about? Would Lincoln look at Heschel or MLK and say “we are still debating this” to which Lebron would turn back and say yes, yes we are. Golda Meir would turn to Hillary Clinton and ask, what might it take for a woman to be seen as a President of the US. Herzl would say to King David, is this the Israel that you envisioned? One where there are 4 elections in two years? Maybe, maybe not, but how incredible that after almost 2000 years of not having sovereignty, the Jewish people have a homeland where self determination is a value, even if the ideals of how that society should function haven’t been fully met yet.

The point is, that no matter who sits around the table, or when, the question of humanity, perseverance, struggle, and vision and values will persist. And honestly, to me, that is part of the message of Passover in general, and as we gather for Yizkor, in particular. We want to think about what is important, and how do we pass down those messages, both for the people at the table right now, and the people whom we miss.

This has been a very hard year. This passover was not as scary as last year, for sure. We aren’t in the shock and fear phase but we somewhere else. Maybe we are in the plague of darkness. Maybe we are in the plague of isolation. Maybe we have experienced loss. And We need to be able to articulate that. When I spoke on TV the other day, I realized that I didn’t spend enough time mentioning the sadness. I focused on the end of the holiday, the idea that Passover gives us faith that we will be redeemed, but it is important to acknowledge the tremendous loss that so many people experienced this year. Not only in terms of death, and there were many, and not just due to COVID. But there was the loss of the ability to mourn the way we want. The loss of the ability to spend time with people we want to. The loss of experiences. For many of us on this service, we might feel guilty “complaining” when we in fact might have it better than many. But that doesn’t mean that we haven’t felt fear, haven’t felt loss. So it is ok to acknowledge that.

And then, we need to figure out how do we recall those who have been lost this year and in years gone by and what do we learn from them? What would they say if they were sitting at our tables. How would they help us move through a difficult year to a place where there is joy and jubilation, praise, and contentment.

How would our fathers, mothers, children, spouses, friends, and family speak to us? I know that for me, i had the honor two weeks ago of standing at a graveside as we buried a loved one of one of our SPS member, and her grave was at the same cemetery as my maternal grandparents. I was able to stop by, say hello, catch them up on what’s going on, tell them how excited I am for Zack’s bar mitzvah, and yet cry knowing that they won’t be there. I was able to wave hello, from a distance, to our dear members, David and Cele Sachs, buried in this same cemetery, and share what’s been going on with our SPS kids-how, despite the pandemic, they have all learned and grown in their educational center-both physically and virtually. How our teachers turned everything on its head in order to make accessible the best of what Jewish tradition and Jewish education can be.

And I have watched, almost daily, how so many people have brought their loved ones into our spiritual presence on our daily minyan, by saying kaddish, by recalling their names, by telling their stories. We have learned of people who crossed oceans for freedom and built families, we have mourned deaths of young people who died at too early an age, we have heard about individuals who had impacts on their communities through their presence, and so on.

Each time kaddish is recited for one of those individuals, it is as if they are with us, sitting, offering guidance, in this complicated world.

I was trying to imagine, is there a moment in our tradition that can illustrate this notion of time travel if you will, across generations, and I would like to share two: First, is one of the most famous of Talmudic stories of rabbinic interpretation.

The story goes:

When Moses ascended Sinai, he found God attaching little crowns to the letters of the Torah. “Master of the Universe,” asked Moses, “why are You attaching these crowns to the Torah?”

“Someday in the future,” replied God, “a man will appear named Akiva ben Joseph. He will be able to come up with all sorts of interpretations based on these little crowns.”

“Let me see him.” Said Moses.

“Turn around,” said God.

Moses was transported to a class in Akiva’s academy. But he could not understand what was going on, and he was distressed.

Finally, a certain subject came up and the students asked Akiva, “How do you know this?” and Akiva replied, “This is a teaching from Moses on Sinai.” And Moses was pleased.”

Normally, this story is brought to show that in each generation, it is up to us to interpret Torah, yet we do it with the sense of history that comes before us. While I still believe that, when I think about this torah in light of yizkor, memory, and passover in particular, i think of it in a new way.

I imagine Moses coming to Akiva’s classroom and hearing the story of the exodus and Moses realizing that- it was worth it-the confrontation with Pharoah, the fear at the sea, the days on the mountain, the struggles in the wilderness, the conflicts between the people-it was worth it, because look what was built.

A people, a faith, a community. One that reflects the vision and the values and the aspirations of thousands of years, and yet is adaptable to our world.

In essence, when we sit and recite yizkor, we are bringing our loved ones close to us, to be with us as we navigate this world.

This brings me to the second story that i learned from my college, Rabbi Mitch Hurvitz:

Once, one of the children asked at their family's Seder: “why was there a cup of wine for Elijah on the table?"

The parents answered:

"So Elijah would visit from Olam HaBa -- the World to Come – and announce that he was bringing with him an era of true peace for all."

The child listened carefully, smiled, and then said:

“Bubbye and Zaydye are also in Olam HaBa. They went there when I was a baby. I only saw pictures of them holding me. Can't we also place cups of wine on the table for them so they can also visit?”

The parents' eyes began to well, and they went over to hug their precious child.

They realized at this moment that their beloved parents' spirits of blessed memory were now present in their dining room with them and their children, and that this was the first taste of "true peace for all."

We won’t always get the answers we want from those we love that have passed on because they might not always understand what is going on, but if we feel that they are sitting beside us, we gain more strength and more resilience than we might have before. We can look and learn from their lives and take what we can and what we should and apply it to ours. And if there are things that are to be left in the past, well, that is ok as well. We don’t need to bring everything to a dining room table. There are pieces that can be left behind. And we can bring new ideas and new traditions and meld them with those that we hold sacred.

So as we prepare to recite yizkor, and then tonight, put the pesach dishes away, knowing that it will be a while until we might feel so concretely the absence of our loved ones, let us ask, who is at our table and who isn’t, and who, like elijah is present w/out being seen, ushing in redemption as we live out their values, today.

While the memories of all of your loved one might not be the same, may those that you hope will be blessings, be the deepest of blessing on this final day of Passover, a day where we celebrate freedom and redemption.