Erev Rosh Hashanah 2022

Seeking Wisdom, Finding Wisdom, Adding Wisdom

Rabbi Rachel Ain

I have noticed that, at the end of each calendar year, I review the names of books that I have read completely. Not the books that I referenced for teaching or those that I used when preparing for sermons but the names of the books that I have started, read fully, and then put away.

I am proud that over the years, the number of books that I have taken the time to read, outside of work time, has increased exponentially, from when I started taking notes on it at the end of 2018-2019. In 2019, I only jotted down a few that I had read-Educated, The Hate You Give, and American Marriage, just to name a few.

By 2020, I read 19 books. In 2021 I read 35 (granted, two of those months were sabbatical), and so far, in 2022, I have read at least 19 (back to a more normal, but fortunately increased pace then from when I started counting in 2018).

While I have a range of books that I read, the fact is, my favorite genre is memoir. I have read dozens but the ones that stick out for me cover a range of topics

Whether it was

High Risk, a story about a doctor who works with high risk pregnancies and how that has impacted her outlook on gender and race in the medical profession,

Or

Exhale, a narrative of a transplant doctor’s lived experience

OR

In Love, a painful telling of a widow’s experience of her husband consciously and humanely taking his own life

OR

Both/And, Huma Abedin’s personal story of her own life and the experiences of being adjacent to the White House during the Clinton Presidency and the 2016 election, not to mention her own personal life’s scandal,

OR

Going There-Katie Couric’s Tell All,

How’s Your Faith-by David Gregory’s journey into his own Judaism

Untamed-Glennon Doyle-a story of identity and purpose or

Life is in the Transitions-Bruce Feiler’s realizations that we can’t look at life as linear but as a journey, where the transitional moments are the ones where we gain the greatest meaning

What do these kinds books do-they give me insight into real moments-yes, often moments of tragedy but moments of resilience and hope. Moments that I am not alone. Moments that stretch me.

These memoirs stick with me. They stick with me because I hear of their stories, their struggles, their thoughts, their dreams, their desires, their hopes,- these aren’t always people that I naturally agree with but what I’ve learned over my years as a rabbi, as a mother, as a wife, as a friend, as somebody who is part of a community, that we can’t only seek wisdom with those with whom we agree sometimes when we sit with people with whom we deeply disagree we are challenged we are stretched we might come to the same conclusion that we had come to at the beginning of the conversation but we come out of it stronger better more secure maybe even more sensitive maybe even more empathetic to where somebody else might be coming from

What’s so frustrating in today’s world the world where people speak and listen and soundbites in tweets and yes I know that I use it too which is why I am aware that Facebook or Instagram updates we rarely are able to take the time to seek out wisdom where we might need to find it. Several weeks ago a colleague of mine Rabbi Joe Schwartz asked:

How do we seek wisdom:

Rabbi Joe Schwartz-what have we done to learn from others in various generations? Who is a sage? Who have we spoken to?

He answer his own question:

We once had sages: old men and women whose lives, fortunes and sorrows had given them insight into how best to live a life. We turned to such people for guidance, or sometimes sought to escape them, through in the end came to accept that what they possessed was wisdom…There are no more sages in the west. For a while they survived on university faculties or in analytic institutes. Whitman was a sage. Maybe a synagogue here or there housed a sage…The old are no longer celebrated for their wisdom. The old may retain youthful charm but they acquire no new sight. So we have no sages because we cannot understand the idea of wisdom. And our old are therefore at best “young at heart” and “look great for their age…”

So first, let us recognize that wisdom comes in all forms-not just in young and shiny, though innovation and new approaches are important, but also in experience and tradition-

And of course we need to pursue finding wisdom because how can we live without wisdom?

We need to seek it out and we need to seek it out when we are least expecting it earlier this summer Joni Mitchell showed up in Newport at a music festival and on stage she was brought by Brandi Carlile-Brandi understood that moving aside for the sake of Joni Mitchell was a wise decision because her message was some thing that was going to be able to permeate to all who are listening.

This idea of finding wisdom between the generations is very much on my mind. In fact, at SPS we are working to create and craft more facilitated opportunities for our teens and our seniors to be in dialogue. I joke that even I don’t understand what my kids say half the time but the fact is I learn from them and they learn from me. How much the more so, generations older than me, there is so much wisdom to explore and experiences to share.

In the book of Job, we find this question asked:

Job 28:12

וְֽ֭הַחָכְמָה מֵאַ֣יִן תִּמָּצֵ֑א וְאֵ֥י זֶ֝ה מְק֣וֹם בִּינָֽה׃

But where can wisdom be found;

Where is the source of understanding?

I wuld like to suggest that there are many ways of finding wisdom

From colleagues and friends-

Cantor Malachi’s article this summer on the relationship between his stutter and shabbat was brilliant. Taking time to pause isn’t a deficit, it is a necessity. In fact, it reminded me of My sabbatical, which feels like a lifetime ago, that when you slow down, you can appreciate what you are seeing and it isn’t just a fleeting moment. I remember last fall driving upstate to Colgate University for a meditation and learning retreat, and taking in the trees, the foliage, and the vast expanse of the sky. How often do we pause and see the wisdom in the created world around us? Jared, loves physics, and he was sharing with me some of the pieces that he finds particularly compelling. He taught me recently that when we look at stars we are in fact, looking backwards in time. This is AMAZING. Yes, it is quite humbling as it reminds us of the small impact we have when we look out at the universe around us, and simultaneously, when we see the stars we realize how deeply connected we all are.

We can find wisdom from pop culture: In the final episode of This Is Us- the deceased patriarch shared, Jack when teaching his son’s to shave for the first time said, “we spend our time looking forward. When you’re young. You’re always trying to be older. And when you get old, always trying to go back. Be back,” explains Jack to young Randall and Kevin, insinuating that their sister was wise beyond her years and understands this concept better than they do. “You’re trying to appreciate the moments. That’s what we’re doing, is collecting these little moments. We don’t recognize them when we’re in them because we’re too busy looking forward. Then we spend the rest of our lives looking back, trying to remember. Trying to be back in time.”

Sometime we find wisdom in the everyday interactions of others: Rabbi Nicole Guzik shared the following story this summer: As we flew home to Los Angeles from Philadelphia, we noticed a young girl sitting between an older man and older woman. The girl appeared to be about eleven years old. As she settled into her seat, she introduced herself to the others, explaining that her mother was sitting several rows behind due to some snafus made by the airline. I expected the introductions to lull into silence, but that assumption was far from accurate.

The girl delightfully “interviewed” each person, engaging the three of them in a conversation about professions, hobbies, movie and music interests and family dynamics. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop and secretly, wanted to join. Not once did the conversation feel forced nor did I notice either passenger look annoyed. Natural breaks would occur: time to read, watch television or sleep. But rhythmically, they would fall back into step, sharing stories and getting to know each other.

It seems like the inclination on airplanes is the opposite of what I witnessed. Get into your seat, acknowledge your row-mates, and then, never speak again. Slight interruption for asking to use the restroom. But otherwise, don’t make eye contact and maintain as much legroom and armrest control as possible. Engaging in storytelling and finding commonalities is not what we signed up for.

But what if we did? The three passengers were from different states and led very different lives. They didn’t exchange numbers but clearly enjoyed the experience of connecting for a few short hours. The greatest risk each of those passengers took was moving beyond an initial hello. Great risk, great reward.

And Judaism’s teachings agree that a source of wisdom is certainly people around you. As Pirke Avot teaches, “Ben Zoma said: Who is wise? He who learns from every man….”

But a wise man is also someone, as the Talmud teaches, sees the consequences of of their actions (BT 32a)

Back to my bookshelf:

I realize, that I have wisdom right in front of me when I pause enough to look:

Go To Help by Deborah Grayson Riegel and Sophie Riegel or

Stepping Forward Together by Bob Leventhal

Where else do we have that in our lives:

People often talk about a “Pregnant pause”-A SIGN OF a pause or silence which is full of meaning or emotion

When, instead of rushing to get everything out, we realize that it is in the pause, between our words, that truth and insight can be found.

And of course, in our religion:

The white space in between black letters on the Torah scroll-we see how our ancient literature that interacts with our every day experiences-the fact that there is something to say about issues of the day; something that I try to demonstrate week in and week out when I focus on more of the timely and less timeless questions.

We can find wisdom in the structure of These holidays-

Take the time to seek wisdom, to know what we can offer, to look for it in places that might feel complex-we can look at the metaphors in our mahzor and realize that the tremendous brilliance of how these services are crafted. And, as we reflect on the text, we know that wisdom can be with us throughout our lives

But can wisdom be found;-For this, I return to the question from Job, a man, who suffered deeply:

Where is the source of understanding, he writes? (and then he answers…)

No man can set a value on it;

It cannot be found in the land of the living.

The deep says, “It is not in me”;

The sea says, “I do not have it.”

It cannot be bartered for gold;

Silver cannot be paid out as its price.

The finest gold of Ophir cannot be weighed against it,

Nor precious onyx, nor sapphire.

Gold or glass cannot match its value,

Nor vessels of fine gold be exchanged for it.

Coral and crystal cannot be mentioned with it;

A pouch of wisdom is better than rubies.

Topaz from Nubia cannot match its value;

Pure gold cannot be weighed against it.

But whence does wisdom come?

Where is the source of understanding?

It is hidden from the eyes of all living,

Concealed from the fowl of heaven.

Abaddon and Death say,

“We have only a report of it.”

God understands the way to it;

He knows its source;

For He sees to the ends of the earth,

Observes all that is beneath the heavens.

When He fixed the weight of the winds,

Set the measure of the waters;

When He made a rule for the rain

And a course for the thunderstorms,

Then He saw it and gauged it;

He measured it and probed it. He said to man,

“See! Awe of the Lord is wisdom;

To shun evil is understanding.”

This is what it means to come together on these holidays, the Yamim Noraim-the days of awe. The days that we can pause and seek wisdom. Where we can look up at God, around at our community, into ourselves. We can figure out what we have to share and what we need to learn. How we want to grow and where we can contract

Where do you seek wisdom? What do you want to commit to this year? Who do you need to speak to? What do you need to read? How do you need to grow?

At Zack’s 9th grade convocation-the high school principal, Rabbi Noam Silverman, recalled the word from tradition,

V’ten B’libenu Binah -May our hearts be filled will wisdom- He shared how wisdom changes not just your mind but your heart. These holidays we come together for our hearts, our minds, and our souls to grow in wisdom. Please, this year, take time to grow and share your wisdom. Come home to SPS and be with us, here in person, at services, classes, programs, and conversation. Learn together on minyan, share the wisdom of your loved ones as you acknowledge their yahrzeits, understand that there is so much to learn in the year ahead. Over the coming days I hope to share different ways of thinking about wisdom-the wisdom of connecting to Israel, the wisdom of sharing our passion and purpose, the wisdom in fear and failure, and the wisdom of staying connected to those who are gone. Being wise is aspirational but not unattainable.

So as we walk this pathway together, let us pause on the way, let us look up and around, and back, and let us grow in our hearts, our souls, and our minds. And in conclusion I offer you this blessing written by Danny Siegel:

May your eyes sparkle with the light of Torah,

And your ears hear the music of its words.

May the space between each letter of the scrolls

Bring warmth and comfort to your soul.

May the syllables draw holiness from your heart,

And may this holiness be gentle and soothing to you and all God’s creatures.

May your study be passionate,

And meanings bear more meanings

Until Life itself arrays itself to you

As a dazzling wedding feat.

And may your conversation, even of the commonplace be a blessing to all who listen to your words

And be the Torah growing on your face.

Shana Tova.